Bad at Letting go

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If you would like to get advice from Laura, just email info@gaysocialites.com!  Then check back to see if Laura addresses your question! 

Dear Laura,
It's been a few years since I broke up with this amazing guy and since then I haven't been able to go out with guys. I've been on dates with them but I usually get self-destructive and a bit crazy and really show off my baggage. I have had better chances on second dates with women.

The problem that I have is that I'm still madly in love with this guy I was with and I can't let go of that, which is what makes it impossible for me to be with guys, but I think that the experiences I have with women are purely for sex, and just a temporary fix to my sexual frustration.

I have never felt anything close to love with any girl I've been with, and honestly the girls I think are attractive usually suck in bed, and those with the sexual skills are usually girls I have less than no interest in. I make a horrible lesbian, and a horrible girlfriend in general. So the advice I need is even after getting shut out by the guy I love, do I talk to him again, and keep trying? Do I give up on all guys because I can't have the 1 I want? Or is there a method that works in getting over guys. I went out with this guy about 5 years ago, but still kept in touch until about 9 months ago. I know it should be time to let go but how do you tell yourself to let go of the only one you wanted to hold onto in the first place.

Karen (Bad at letting go)

 



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Karen,

        Love can be tricky and hold many ties to you. Once you fall in love, it is almost impossible to forget. After our heart breaks, we try the best to move on. More often than not with other people. When you date women and not men, you are not reminded of "him". When you go on dates with men you automatically think of the one that got away. I wouldn't suggest that you give up on men entirely, when you are capable of falling in love again. When our hearts get broken we often feel like it was the last time we were going to feel love. There is that cliche of soulmates. One person for everyone. I strongly disagree. When it is true that some might have that one person to spend all eternity with, some may not. Some may have many different loves. In life we go through many transformations. You must think of love in terms of that as well. We often shed layers like a snake and sometimes we often grow out of different relationships. You can't continue you hate on yourself for what happened in the past. If you tried your hardest to get him back and he doesn't want to do his part, then he is simply not worth it. There are many men out there who are. When it pertains to my own relationships,  I always think if I love them with every inch of my soul, and I can't get half of that back, then it is simply not worth going on with. Love can never be forced or predicted. We can only try to make it work. But you must never try more then 50% , because that my dear is an unfair relationship. My advice, simply try your best to move on. Shed that skin and and value yourself. People often overanalyze love more then it is needed to be. It is never something you can ask questions about. It is one of those things that must fall into place. And usually when you least expect it, as you transform in what is your life , as you move on , love will knock you off your feet ONCE AGAIN!

 

 

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laura sackst said:

The picture is of a snake shedding its skin. As we all do in relationships and in life.
:)
THank you
Laura

laura sacks said:

The picture is of a snake shedding its skin. As we all do in relationships and in life.
:)
THank you
Laura

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