Recently in Rehab Alumni Category

Lindsay Lohan tells People magazine that is dating someone, but for once the socialite-actress is keeping her lips sealed.  She has, however, confirmed two things... 1) her new beau isnt' Brandon Davis and 2) the mystery man isn't here in the US.

"No, I'm not dating him (Davis). It's no one here,” she said.

Brandon Davis is the sweaty LA club rat who called Lindsay "fire-crotch" on the video that made its way around the web last year.

This leaves tabloids speculating that Robbie Williams may be Lindsay's new man. Despite each making a recent attempted to go through rehab, the two were spotted together in Hollywood Monday night at The Tudors premiere after-party.

Lohan was also seen cuddled up with hottie/ nanny fucker, Jude Law, last time she was in NY.

Both men seem to be a bit out of her age range, but I guess we'll have to wait and see!

Those who were holding on to hope that the much anticipated Van Halen tour is just days away, give it up.

Eddie Van Halen has checked himself into rehab.  He released this statement:

"I would like Van Halen fans to know how much I truly appreciate each and every one of you. Without you there is no Van Halen.

I have always and will always feel a responsibility to give you my best. At the moment I do not feel that I can give you my best. That's why I have decided to enter a rehabilitation facility to work on myself, so that in the future I can deliver the 110% that I feel I owe you and want to give you.

Some of the issues surrounding the 2007 Van Halen tour are within my ability to change and some are not. As far as my rehab is concerned, it is within my ability to change and change for the better. I want you to know that is exactly what I'm doing, so that I may continue to give you the very best I am capable of.

I look forward to seeing you in the future better than ever and
I thank you with all my heart. Love, Ed"

TMZ reports that Eddie won't be skipping out for shopping, lattes or even yoga like teen queen rehab superstars Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan.

Justin Timberlake and Timbaland have made a good duo working together, so good that they're willing to take a big risk -- on Justin's ex-girlfriend Britney Spears.

My fag hag will DIE if they get back together.  I think she's running an online petition or something, but I digress...

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Timbaland said he felt Spears' "pain" and admitted he is "the type of person who tries to save the world."  At this point it might be easier to save the rest of the world.

Timbaland is in talks with Justin Timberlake to help his plans to bring Spears, a former pop superstar back to #1. 

"I just want to hold her hand," Timbaland says. "I want her to be in my camp, to be around Justin. I need Justin to talk to her. Help her, please!" 

As always, Justin will do whatever Timbaland says and has agree to help.

Meanwhile rumors continue to circulate that Britney Spears is struggling to stay in treatment at the Promises Rehab Center in Malibu.

Comeback probability at this point:  Possible.

Supermodel Naomi Campbell is finally admitting that she was hooked on cocaine.  Seriously, like we didn't already suspect that.  We all know that throwing cell phones at people is sign #1 that someone is 'jonesing' for line of nose candy.

The 36-year-old model said she was first offered coke when she was 24, but now attends daily Narcotics Anonymous meetings no matter where she is traveling in the world at that time.

When asked about doing drugs she said,"It made me feel invincible. Like I could conquer the world. I was just completely over-confident, but it's all a misconception because when you wake up the next day it's all gone and you feel awful."

Just hold on to your cell phone sweetie and don't swing at any staffers.  You'll get through it nicely.

Who ever thought that Kevin Federline would come to Britney Spears' rescue?  Have we under estimated the K-Fed?

Not only did he join the intervention to get her back in rehab, but he has also popped by the facility to check in on his baby-momma.  The Insider is reporting that Federline stopped by the Promises treatment center in Malibu for about an hour and half. 

"Britney scared everyone pretty bad. Kevin is worried that's for sure. Kevin just wants her to be OK," said one of Kevin's closest friends.

Federline is also looking over their two infant sons while their mommy gets the help she needs, but he promises to send the kids back to Brit after she's well again.

Aww - who knew it would turn out like this?!

Here's the official statement from her peeps:

"Britney Spears has voluntarily checked herself into an undisclosed rehab facility today. We ask that the media respect her privacy as well as those of her family and friends at this time."

Most of us (whether we care or not) are still left wondering why she went wacky and cut off all of her hair.  OK! Magazine is reporting that it is because K-Fed threatened to get a few strands of hair to find out what she is on...

"They had a huge argument," accoriding to OK!. "Kevin threatened Britney that he was going to have people test her hair to find out exactly what she's been up to. She was so scared. That was what made her have her head shaved."

I find that highly unlikely considering she left all of the hair there... so I'm still wondering...

In today's day and age, rehab is just as popular as the hottest nightlife spots and the most posh resorts.

The latest quitter:  Robbie Williams.  Evidently the strangely sexy brit has checked himself into rehab for abusing prescription pills.

Keep him away from Howard K. Stern.  I heard he has the deadly shit