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So we all know the stereotypes. People feel that all gay men are feminine and all gay women are masculine. For gay people around the world we know that is not always true. We come in all shapes and sizes, as well as personalities.
What gives us this image? Is it the movies or television? Magazines and or books? When I first came out, I would go to clubs and ask girls out and they would doubt I was gay. They said I was to feminine looking. And I thought, even in the gay world people doubt my sexuality. My male friends all doubted it as well. Gay women are represented as two femmes in all the big hollywood movies. Gay men are represented as feminine in the movies and television.
For a second, lets throw out those stereotypes. In your own world, whatever that may be (gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered, not sure, curious) what is gay to you? When I think of a gay man, I think there can be a billion types. A masculine man , or a feminine man perhaps. And with lesbians, the same. But what about the types that aren't listed?
A masculine man and woman are tough. A feminine man and woman are considered weak. What if this is the total opposite? What if what we are told is wrong and stereotypical? For instance, I am very femme as they say, but inside I am very tough. So I would rather call myself a hard femme. As opposed to, soft butch, or butch or just femme. A hard femme to me is a lesbian who looks and acts as a woman but is tough like a man. The key here, think and act as yourself. Never let society push you a certain way, or make you feel like you should go a certain way. Always think outside the box, never let anyone tape it down leaving you no air to breathe and fend for yourself.
It takes time. You will learn. Have you heard these wise words before? Why is it, that some people in the gay community feel they are superior? If you are 10-20 years older than me, I give you credit. If you have some thoughts for me and my gayness, please tell!
When I first came out, I was often called names such as baby, newbie, and immature. This was a tad discouraging since I spent about 19 years of my life in denial. They say , "the closet is now open", I was for sure ready to lock the door and never come out. I always had a thing for dating women who were a few years older. The difference? Well, a woman who was out longer didn't care about society. A woman who was new sometimes did. It is a state of mind that matters ; not a birth date. I didn't want to end up in a relationship where I had to hide my sexuality. After all, if I am going to be out of that closet, I am not changing for anyone.
This year's election may not seem to important here in New York. There are no presidential candidates on the ballot, and Hillary Clinton seems to be on her way back to the Senate. While both of those may be true, this is actually an important election year. The New York Attorney General's seat is being vacated by Elliott Spitzer as he runs for governor. It's our choice to make a decision in race that may not usually be that important in the LGBT community.
This year, we have a chance to make a big push for gay rights here in the state of New York. This year there is an openly gay candidate running for Attorney General. His name is Sean Patrick Maloney, and we're not putting our support behind him today because he's gay. We're endorsing Sean Maloney because he's the right choice for New Yorkers both gay and straight.
